What makes one worthy? Is it the college education, marrying the right man? Is it your status in society? If it is then I am truly unworthy, for I care nothing of these things. I like to live in my world day to day as tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I love to travel and explore new places and I hold my friends dear. It is so hard when those that I am suppose to be closest to are the ones that hurt me the most. Family is derived from the word Famila which means relating to and yet I relate to nobody in my family. I am used as a scapegoat called a liar without anyone saying the words because the one I am talking about would NEVER lie and they chose to believe them instead... which is hilarious I never racked up your credit then kicked you out of the home. I never ask you to rescue me because I do not need to be rescued I am happy to be who I am I do not need things or want things... What I do know though is it is hard turning the cheek all of the time.. when you just want to stand up and scream and say I am RIGHT HERE!!!! Maybe it is due to the fact that I just let people talk and do not allow people to stand up for me that these things happen.. but I feel if it isn't true why does it have to be defended... I say you can think what you want.. you can say what you want it doesn't bother me..but then that is not the whole truth.. it does hurt, it makes my heart ache and the tears flow and the whys come.. Why me? what did I do?
How can you harden yourself to these kinds of people? How can you do it without hardening yourself against life?
maybe I should have just stayed on the road.. stayed away.. maybe... maybe there is nothing that I can do.. what is just is....
