Just thinking

Ever wonder why your here? Why things happen to you? Maybe God is punishing you or you should have never been born? Well I used to think this way, there were many times that I cried out to God to please let me die, never to wake up again. I thought that the pain was so bad that I had to break. I believed that no human being could withstand so much hurt so much sadness, so much sickness. I wanted the world to end for me. I was not an asset to life I was a burden to it, what was my purpose?

My best friend put it in perspective for me. Bad things happen, and when it does if there is not someone to walk you through it your all alone, feeling desperate feeling like your at the end of your rope. But if you have someone to talk to someone who can relate it makes the journey easier. He told me that I am that person, that I have a way of talking to people of walking through things that help inspire. In sharing my experience it helps others that are going through it. Knowing I survived has given hope a light at the end of their tunnel.

So in walking through the fire I am able to give someone else only coals to bear and not the flame. In that I am thankful.

I did not live an easy life, but I put myself in those places in those situations and yet survived to come out the other side. Would I want to walk that same line again? Would in me not walking in those steps not of saved anyone? I wouldn't ever want to go through again what I went through, and yet i would Never Ever want anyone have to ever go down the same path and not have a hand to reach for. For I may not be a religious person but I believe in God and I believe that he works through people. He sends people to you at the right time. So where I thought God had to be cruel to allow bad things to happen I realized that God gave us free choice people hurt people not God but God sends people to help you walk through your ordeal or your illness or anything that your going through. What I have learned is that we are never alone, there is always someone out there that has felt the same , gone through the same, someone that understands. You would be amazed if you look around who God has put in your path to heal you or who is has put in your path for you to help heal.

Life is not defined in the bad things that happen, but you are defined in how you survive them. If bad things didn't happen I would not know what good looked like and vice versa. My life is beautiful because I have walked through the shadows and come out in the light